After hearing (and maybe reading on a blog somewhere…) about some rumors swirling around about what was going on this winter, I thought it would only be appropriate for us to clarify the truth of winter workouts.
Here are some real life tales from some real life players this winter 2012 off-season:
- After deciding that the lifting program was too simple, Katherine Rush and Lauren Abraham have begun bench-pressing each other for a new challenge. Meanwhile, Ainsley Daigle uses both of them and attaches one to each side of the bar for squats. Coach Schall has yet to report on the safety of these new techniques.
- While running the cooper test, Alex Todd and Hannah Sackfield decided 12:00 was too easy and went for a double cooper. Estimates say they ran to Lynchburg and back during this time.
- An old goalkeeper or maybe a grandma has teamed up with a current general for the annual winter 2v2 tournament. Her application was late and thus all teams are now playing this combo during their assigned “bye” week, but based on the skill level it might as well stay a bye week. Kingsley Schroeder pretends she does not know this grandma when she sees her on campus.
- Alexis Blight has troubles doing ladders even on the ones that are taped down upstairs in the gym. Sources say that boot girl is still afraid to leave her boot but that Jasmine Soo carries boot girl on her back when she jump ropes before lifting.
- KJ Lancaster was really spotted biking like a grandma as Katie Rossi spent time in the weights section “cleaning” while the men’s lacrosse team was doing one of their weekly lifts. Haley Ward ignored both of these events while running on the treadmill for hours on end because she is now 100% cleared.
- Liz DePlautt and Lauren Williams spent roughly an hour attempting to detangle their jump ropes while Madeline Forrestel turned the entire drawer upside down in order to find her lifting sheet which had “gone missing”. Reports say it had accidentally been placed in the boy’s soccer area since the sheets are the same color for no apparent reason other than to confuse us.
- Coach Suzanne and Holley Beasley were seen with handfuls Blue Sky (also known as Big Sky to Suze) chocolate chip cookies after they were spotted leaving the Salerno’s buffet lunch. Beasley also participated in a cheese ball eating competition later that afternoon which she won.
- After completing their first lift, Taylor Devoe and Emily Scott high fived with Katie Howard while she was biking. Insider info says they then headed down to the racquetball courts to work on some footskills but instead ended up in the squash courts without any realization that there was a difference.
- Coach Cunningham has run out of treats in his office. Please send some ASAP before his sugar low kicks in. Also if walking from the sorority house after lunch to class on the hill, he enjoys chocolate.
- Regardless of the information- factual or not- you have read up until this point, each general has been actively participating in winter workouts with enthusiasm and energy. No matter what hour of the day you go in the gym or drive through Lexington, you are bound to find one of us doing a winter workout. Though the weather outside may sometimes be overcast, we’ve all got sunshine on our minds with thoughts of next year and what the future holds.
Yours Truly,
Lucky # 13














